Deja Nicole Greenlaw
By: Deja Nicole Greenlaw*/TRT Columnist—
Every year LGBT Prides are held throughout the world and every year they get bigger and bigger. More and more people are attending Pride Festivals and marching in Pride Parades. Why is this, and why do we have Prides anyway?
I think that we love to have Prides and attend them because Prides can mean many things to many people. Some folks think of Prides as big parties. Some folks think of Prides as a platform to voice the inequalities of the world. Some folks think of Prides as being events where they can really be themselves with no repercussions and no holding back, not even one iota. Many of us see Prides as being a combination of all three avenues of thought, but my personal favorite meaning is the last one: being proud of who you are. During Pride, these thoughts pop into my head: “I am me! I am no longer ashamed of who I am! I will no longer fear what society might think of me! I will not hide anymore! I will live as who I am! I am proud of who I am!”
At Pride festivals and parades, you can see many people expressing that they are truly proud of who they are. They have reached the point of taking pride in who they are because they know what it was like before they accepted themselves and came out of their awful closet. They know how it felt to be different and to not fit into society. They know how it felt to be ashamed of who they are. They know how it felt to want to hide, and they know how it felt to want to end their lives. More and more people are getting to this wonderful point of acceptance and pride in their lives. Unfortunately, not everyone has reached that point. [pullquote]Some of them want to shed the transgender label so badly that they become upset when they are referred to as a transgender person.[/pullquote]
I realize that there are still many gay, lesbian, and bisexual people in the closet still fighting their demons, but as time goes on the percentage of people staying in the closet seems to be getting lower. When it comes to transpeople, however, the percentage appears to be higher. Not all, but many transpeople are not proud of being trans. They may be proud of being gay, lesbian or straight, but they are not proud of being trans. Some of them want to shed the transgender label so badly that they become upset when they are referred to as a transgender person.
None of our paths are exactly the same and each of us looks at things from various perspectives, but I feel that the transpeople who don’t accept themselves as trans and don’t feel pride in being who they are miss an awful lot in their personal development. Finally, accepting who I am was an important point in my life. From that point, my love of myself grew and pride in who I am grew. It’s a very peaceful and powerful feeling. [pullquote]It is my belief that we should accept ourselves for who we truly are. We then must learn to be okay with ourselves and begin to love ourselves.[/pullquote]
Many transpeople want to have a male or female gender identity, period. They do not want to be transgender. That is fine for them and I wish them the best, but I have seen many of these folks fall to pieces when they are called transgender. I’ve seen them cry or lash out in anger and their whole mood sours when these instances occur. If they could accept who they are and be proud of who they are, maybe they wouldn’t become upset when they are recognized as being trans.
In some extreme cases they may even take their own life. In these cases, I feel that this may be because they cannot continually attain their personal goal of their gender identity. They are “found out” and their identity is challenged. Their world is rocked. I don’t know why they take their lives and I can’t speak for them, but being trans myself, this is what I suspect.
It is my belief that we should accept ourselves for who we truly are. We then must learn to be okay with ourselves and begin to love ourselves. Then, as we grow, we can truly find peace and pride in being who we are.
*Deja Nicole Greenlaw is a local, proud transwoman who has three grown children and works at 3MPI. She can be contacted at dejavudeja@sbcglobal.net.
Right on, Deja! Great article.