Deja Nicole Greenlaw
By: Deja Nicole Greenlaw*/TRT Columnist–
You are finally ready to change your gender. Now comes the legal aspect.
First is a trip to your local probate court to get a date for your name change. When your court appearance comes, you are ready to use your new name.
Now you may change your name on your driver’s license. You will need a notarized copy of your name change from probate for your driver’s license name change. For your gender marker change, you will need a letter from your clinical therapist. It’s a nice, easy start.
Next should be your social security name change, which requires another notarized copy of your name change. A notarized letter from your surgeon is what you need if you also want to change your gender marker on your social security. Then comes the fun changes: all of your utilities and all of your credit or debit cards, bank accounts, 401K plans, house deeds, car registrations, etc. They all want something different. Most will want an un-notarized copy of your name change, but some won’t. I will share some of my experiences trying to change my name on my legal things.
One of my credit cards required me to talk to someone, which always means at least a 1 hour phone call. The young gentleman said, “Good evening, sir. How are you doing tonight, sir? What can I help you with, sir?” When you change your gender from male to female, the last thing you want to hear is someone calling you “sir.” I realize that “sir” is a term of respect, but believe me, it didn’t play well in my gender change quest. I had waited and worked so long for my gender change and this was the last thing that I wanted to hear, but my old name was on the account.
After explaining my changes, the young man was apologetic and very cordial to me. After he tried to sell me other services, which I declined, he went into his wrap up speech. “Well sir, it looks like everything is in order here, sir. Is there anything else that I can help you with, sir?” I paused and then said, “Yes! Stop calling me sir!” We both had a good chuckle out of that one!
My internet/phone connection, for some reason, could not change my name on my account. Apparently it’s hard coded and there’s nothing I can do to change it. Every time I need to call about a problem I have to use my former name. I did try to explain my situation and the reps were always gracious about it, but then I would get transferred to another person and it would start all over again. After a while I gave up correcting them. Now I just go along with my former name.
A local chain store which gives you their store cards for current deals and such allowed me to change my name to Deja, but would not allow me to change my gender. Now, every time I purchase something from that store, the receipt comes up with my coupons under the name “Mr. Deja Greenlaw”. Oh well, at least I get the coupons.
I usually buy my clothes at a popular women’s clothing store. I never did change my name on their store credit card because I usually use my debit card when I shop there. Sometimes, though, for a discount, I need to use the store card. The cashiers are always puzzled when my old name comes up. I explain and we laugh about it.
Now, on a serious note, I want to talk about your will. Yes, everyone needs a will but it’s especially important for transpeople. If you don’t have a will, your wishes will probably not be respected. I know of a couple of transwomen who had no will and were buried under their former name and were placed in their graves dressed as men. It’s very important to get these things clearly spelled out in a will and to choose an executor to ensure that your last wishes are carried out. Don’t wait; you never know when your time will be up. If you don’t, things might not go as you would like them.
*Deja Nicole Greenlaw is a local transwoman who has 3 grown children and works at a local Fortune 500 company. She can be contacted at dejavudeja@sbcglobal.net.
