By: Deja Nicole Greenlaw*/TRT Columnist–
My name is Deja Nicole Greenlaw and, in the spirit of Harvey Milk, I’m here to recruit you! I am asking you, no, I am imploring you, all of my transgender brothers and sisters, to come out of the closet and to show your friends, your relatives and your coworkers that you are transgender. Yes, come out! We are part of this world. We add value to society. There’s nothing wrong with us! We need to show the people whom we know that we are transgender and that we are a vibrant part of society. There’s nothing to fear from us.
Many transgender people live in the closet. Staying in the closet does no good for our cause. Staying in the closet does not pave the way for us in society and it keeps doors shut for the young and future transgenders. We need to open those doors and keep them open. We had older transgenders, back in the day; take the hits for us, which gave us an easier opportunity than they had. Because of the Stonewall Riots, the Compton Riots, all the transpeople who lobbied for state and federal rights, all the transpeople who made it easier to change the gender marker on your driver’s license, all the transpeople who were murdered for being transgender, all the transpeople who were refused medical help, all the transpeople who worked to change their religion’s views and all the transpeople who led the various transgender support groups, things are getting much better for us. We still have a ways to go, but we do have it much easier than our older brothers and sisters did.
We now have a moral responsibility to keep the torch moving forward and to make the upcoming transgenders’ lives even easier than ours. Coming out makes a big difference in making our lives easier.
Just look at how much society has changed since Chaz Bono came out. Besides being Sonny and Cher’s already famous child who came out, he went one step further and did a stint on “Dancing with the Stars.” If people were unclear as to who transpeople were, all of a sudden they were educated with Chaz in the spotlight. He was in the news and on televisions everywhere. Yes, all of a sudden everyone in America knows who a transgender person is. No, make that, everyone in the world now knows who a transgender person is! Jenna Talackova, the Miss Universe Canada contestant, further heightened people’s awareness when it was found out that she is transgender. Yes! A beauty queen is transgender! Having Chaz and Jenna coming out has made a huge difference in educating the masses about transgenders. It’s great to have the worldwide visibility that these two pioneering souls gave us.
Even at the local level many of us transgenders are out at work and our coworkers have gotten used to us. Now our co-workers can say, “Yes, I know a transgender who works with me and they are good people. They’re not like those crazy people on Jerry Springer who cause fights and yell.” There might be a little hesitation from some at first, but as time passes, so do the hesitations. Yes, they become used to us and don’t even give us second thought. Yes, they come to the conclusion that we are people, the same as they are.
Outside of work, people see transgenders who are out in the local supermarkets, department stores, restaurants, churches, doctor’s offices and motor vehicle offices. It’s no big deal. We are just like everyone else. I’ve personally noticed that more people are warmer to us since Chaz and Jenna came out. You can see it in their eyes and smiles when they realize that they have just seen a transgender person. You know that they will go home and tell their families at dinner that today that they saw a transgender person at the store, the market, at the doctor’s, in church, or wherever they saw you. Yes, we are settling into society and the more of us who come out, the faster that we will settle. The more of us who come out and live openly in society, the better it will be for all of us!
So come out, come out, wherever you are. Join us who are already out and help make this world a better place for all transgenders. Harvey Milk was not wrong about gays coming out and I know that I am not wrong about transgenders coming out. Just do it and come out!
*Deja Nicole Greenlaw is a local transwoman who has 3 grown children and works at 3M. She can be contacted at dejavudeja@sbcglobal.net.
Deja,
I do understand the sentiment behind your article, but I think it is somewhat short sighted. Being able to “come out” involves some degree of privilege. Many transgender people live in areas where it is simply not safe to be open about their trans identities, or they have families (including kids) who might be negatively impacted, or they simply prefer privacy.
Also, why the use of the term “transgenders”?Personally, I find that term pretty objectifying and degrading.
If i may: Personally, i’ve preferred the term “Transgender”. I’ve had some people ask me why i don’t use the term “transsexual” and i tell them “when i used a term that included the word “sex” in it, people commonly referred to stereotypes and relied on stigmas .. such as confusing gender identity with sexual orientation. When i instead only used the term transgender, people were more willing to ask pertinent questions and learned real answers without bias.” It’s one way that i believe that awareness can be spread more effectively to those who are ignorant to what gender identity is really about. … or more simply put, most of society seems afraid of the word “sex” but they do seem welcome to understanding “gender”.
Make sure you come out after the job interview otherwise you will not the get the job and you will have no co-workers to impress. Make sure you do not come out to the landlord until after the lease is signed otherwise you will have no neighbors to come out to except maybe in the homeless shelter.
As a trans woman I can attest in my personal experience that the more our society knows about us, the more we contribute to our own integration to it. Rejection and bigotry are socially induced by irrational fear of those we do not know about, or groups that are distortedly portrayed on mass media. Coming out and openly interacting with those around us, could sure put us at more risk of being at least treated different or at worse being victimized. It’s a personal decision that everyone has to weigh in according to their personal circumstances of life. In the greater picture, however, society is only changed by those who have the courage to endure those risks in the name of a better world for their children, and their children’s children. We are the “future generations” of those who paved the road before us and it is only fair to do the same for those who will come after us. Thank you for your inspiring post!
Great article, thanks for posting. Hugs
Dear Deja, This is such a beautiful message..
Comprehensive, Intelligent, and right to the Point! A pure call for honesty, integrity, courage, respect, dignity, honor and equality for all people of our “Global Family.” All part of the entire diversity of the human species in all its expressions.
Thank you for sharing this inspirational message. I am sharing it with everyone I know!
I am an openly transsexual woman.. currently in Thailand for my SRS and FFS with the Honorable Dr. Suporn.
I am a highly productive software engineer who has, and does, work on many PC/Mac Computer systems and Android phones and tablets which are used by millions of people every day all over the planet.
I am a dedicated student of Aikido, “The Art of Peace” as taught by the founder: Morihei Ueshiba.
I love people and I vote!
And I am a Transgendered Human Being!
Keep on sharing the message and following your own spirit’s truth along your path.
We are all one family!
Sincerely,
Johana
花
Sometimes it is difficult coming out for various reasons. I’m a Canadian transwoman having transitioned 5 years. I work as a freelance carpenter in Southern Il. USA. (Fringe of the Bible belt) I’m accepted as a genetic woman. My friends know my history. I sometimes speak at the S. I. University and a Unitarian Church on Trans issues. I’m also a performing singer songwriter. I often sing at the Unitarian Church. 2 years ago as local venue owners found out my history they began shutting their doors on me performing at their venue. I began speaking of the discrimination I was experiencing to prominent people. One year later the doors seem to be opening again. People I sing to, accept me as a woman with a deep voice, they like my music and seem to not want to know who I really am. I’ve always wanted my music to be about the music and not me. Living as a woman has freed my locked away artistic expression and is very much reflected in my music. Thanks for the Article.
Yep and we Canadians are very proud of all your accomplishments,musical or otherwise. Can’t wait to hear you on Ronnie’s Bluesday Tuesday.
For the past 5 years I have been a very out transperson. I have gone to work every day with ever increasing breast development, but dressed as a man. I have given educational presentations to the company Diversity Council. People have come up to me and asked when I was going to have “The Surgery”. I tell them I am not. As of 3 weeks ago, I am now presenting full time at work with a feminine gender presentation. I am obviously male, but people put up with my female presentation. The one concession I have made is to use my female name at work. I am gender queer.
I am very grateful to Chas Bono. Does this mean we should stop campaigning to have our documentation changed? If we have our birth gender on our passports this should we would all ambassador for our community to customs officials and other people who see our passport in foreign countries. If your birth gender stays on your birth certificate then that will make you an ambassador for our community to anyone who needs to see your id such as prospective employers or anyone who needs your Identification like say banks.
I would strongly urge anyone considering throwing their lives on the line for the cause to carefully consider the possible implications of their actions.
While I whole heartedly agree that as a part of the wider community we deserve to be treated with respect and equality, is your coming out of the closet worth the risk of sacrificing your marriage, friends job etc etc. Fine for Chase Bono, his income is pretty much assured.
Think carefully and be prepared for a rough ride if you decide to come out. Good luck
The more we hide the more people are affaird of us
I share the view that Deja is writing about. After moving to a small SouthWestern community in New Mexico, I tried the “Stealth” thing and all it brought me was depression and sub-poverty. The impression that was given to me by many people was “this area is too conservative.. too religious, and people won’t be accepting”. I came out and also began offering support and resources for others because there wasn’t any to help people like myself. After i did this, people began to ask questions and after getting their questions answered, became allies. I now work for the city in a public job and have the full support of this area as well as being recognized for helping to bring awareness to an area that even folks in the GLBT community are STILL mistakenly telling others “it’s not safe to come out around here”… What i’ve found is that if you keep telling others and yourself that where you live isn’t going to be accepting or open to diversity, then no.. it won’t be open or accepting. When you stay positive and are willing to give people answers and be proud of who you are, then it only keeps getting better and easier. Essentially, once the ice has been broken then it helps to make the path for others who follow after you.. and you’ll find that as people follow you begin to gain strength and safety in numbers. Well done article Deja. My compliments and alliance in advocacy! -Des
Yes! This is the way to go. Be proud of who you are.
Don’t focus on people holding you down with their fear or repression. That story is a self fulling prophecy..
In my community I’m focusing on being the best person that I can be; being respectful of myself and of others; cultivating my discernment and growing my circle of friends in the t*-family.
I am a post-op trans* woman and I am a valuable human being.
Best Regards,
Johana
花
I find many of the stories above a bit unbelievable. It has been my experience if they know they will treat you differently and it usually ain’t better. If you are gender queer that is a different matter. Some people seem to thrive on people knowing, in fact i know many who get a real kick out of telling people. However, if you are a man or women then you are going to have to arm wrestle most people who know you are trans into accepting you as your true gender. Trans men have much better social outcomes on average than transwomen and I think the fact they pass has an awful lot to do with it.
I watched the tail end of Ivan and Sam a transgender story on abc2 tonight, still trying To work out how you can fall in love as girls and transgender to men together.not to be disrespectful but vey curious about what type of relationship you end up with is this still a gay relationship? I’m confused but it led me here and I’ve spent a good hour reading different post about different people. Should say at this point I’m a woman, married to a man with 3 amazing kids and very happy in my world. It breaks my heart to read some of the stories of blatant disregard for people, I don’t care if you are black, white or purple, gay, straight, transgender or no gender. We are all part of the same family here to love and care for one and another and each other, I’ve recently become a Christian and am now a practicing catholic and I Truely believe God gave us life and free will to be the best we can be, to love one another as we love ourselves and God and who are we to judge? I think our biggest test in this life is to to love each other and to care for each other without condemning each other for who,we are born to be, we were made how we were made and we each know in our heart who we were born to be, some of us are brave and bold and out there, some of us are quieter, but all of us should at the very least be able to be who we were born to be and from what little I know on this subject I think we all know from such a young age who we are, sometimes people, be it parents, peers whoever might have other ideas on who we are but deep down we all know. My point to all of this is, be who you are, if your a plain 42 year old receptionist, married mum such me, embrace it! If you are gay, straight, purple, pink, boy or girl you know who you are embrace it, maybe if there were more people just being content with who they are then there would be less fear of the different (no offence meant here to anyone) love yourself as you would your neighbour, I don’t think any of us has a right to condem anyone’s gender, race, sexual orientation or anything. Love and acceptance is what makes the world go round. Loves to you all, sorry if I dribbled had a few reds before bed. God bless, sleep tight.x