By: Tynan Power/TRT Reporter
Nelson Roman knows personally how important safe space is for LGBT youth-and how just one or two people can make a profound difference.
He describes hiding from boys who bullied him and called him “faggot” in middle school gym class, before he was out as gay.
“One time, they went down to the shower, and my gym teacher left the room. Five or six boys beat me up and kicked me out of the locker room, butt-naked,” he recalls. “I just remember feeling so low.”
It was another student who first came to his aid.
“Kevin Gardner-I’ll never forget his name-started fighting off the other guys. Then I remember the gym teacher, Mr. Gorman, running down the hall, picking up all of the boys by their shirts. He asked what happened and covered me. Mr. Gorman gave me a hug and said “Hey man, it is all right. You are okay and you are safe.”
That’s what sticks with him.
“All it takes is just one person to be able to stand up and say ‘it is okay, you are loved and you are safe,’” Roman says.
Today, the 23-year-old Roman leads Holyoke For All-Holyoke Para Todos, formerly called the Holyoke LGBT Task Force. For the past five years, the group has organized the annual Western Mass Youth Pride Prom. This year, more than 700 young people attended the event designed to be safe and affirming for everyone, regardless of identity.
“To me, the proudest moment has been taking the Holyoke For All-Holyoke Para Todos group that used to be just a task force-granted, an amazing group in its concept and origin-and becoming a real, big, fledgling 5O1(c)3 pending nonprofit group,” Roman says. “We are doing amazing work. Our youth groups are starting. Our community groups are starting. Stretching beyond the prom and doing actual community work is exciting to me.”
Among the group’s upcoming events is a new Snowfall Ball for adults on December 9th, and a Latina/Latino Gay Pride event that is in the works.
One reason he is so passionate is that Roman has sharply tuned his attention to the intersections of race and class in the LGBTQ community. It is one of the two “fronts” he feels the LGBTQ community most needs to address.
“They [young poor LGBTQ people of color] are having a really different experience coming out,” Roman says. “There is really no place for them to go.”
“It is actually our ambition to really get out there, really work for the LGBT community of Holyoke, which really, really needs it,” he added.
According to 2009 data, the poverty level in Holyoke is triple that of the state average, with approximately half of all children living in poverty. The city’s population is almost equally Hispanic and white, with 5% of the population from other racial or ethnic backgrounds.
“It is a tale of two cities,” Roman says of his work in Holyoke. “We have the LGBTQ individuals who live in [Holyoke neighborhood] the Highlands or that own homes in Northampton, who are great individuals and very much tied to the whole Northampton [LGBTQ] movement. They are very out there, and they are affluent.”
Then there’s the flip side.
“The LGBTQ community that is down in the flats are people of color who really don’t know about that life,” Roman says. “They are accustomed to having a support network of individuals [in the community] who are Latinos and Latinas.”
“I can’t tell you, just since we have changed our name [to be bilingual] the number of LGBTQ Latinas and Latinos who have been coming out.”
The two different groups share the same priorities.
“They are looking for where to really get together and start planning some amazing things [for our own community] that are right here, local. I think that is what our group brings,” Roman says. “It’s that dynamic group force of the young, old, black, white, Latino, Latina, and really reaching to bridge those communities together.”
The other “front” Roman wants to focus on is transgender rights and inclusion.
“I feel like a lot of the time, the L, G and B communities forget the T community. That T is sometimes left out completely, or we just do not acknowledge our brothers and sisters out there who are really on the front line of the movement,” Roman says. “They need our support. They need our force 150% behind them.”
Roman counts among his inspirations José Sarria, founder of the International Court System, a 46-year-old network of Imperial Courts that is the second largest GLBT organization in the world. Roman credits the Imperial Court system of Connecticut for teaching him leadership skills he uses in his work today.
Sarria, called “Mama José” by many, was the first openly gay candidate for San Francisco city supervisor, 16 years before Harvey Milk broke the pink ceiling to win that position.
“This little 76 year-old pioneer drag queen was really raising awareness and attention, through beatings, through hate crimes, and on a national front,” Roman says with clear admiration. “I truly and honestly refer to him a lot, and because he is Latino, I can really relate to him.”
Roman thinks Sarria and the Court culture help remind the LGBTQ community of its campy roots.
“The community sometimes forgets we-gay, lesbian, transgender, bisexual-are a very vocal, outgoing, fun and campy culture.”
Roman also looks to Alex Morse, the 21-year-old gay candidate for Holyoke mayor, as a role model. A strong supporter, Roman served as Morse’s volunteer campaign manager-adding that role to his full-plate of Holyoke For All-Holyoke Para Todos leadership and a full-time job in social services-until a professional was hired for the position.
“Alex Morse and the people who started the [Holyoke For All-Holyoke Para Todos] group here in Holyoke are definitely my inspiration,” Roman says. “They are definitely the source that I go to a lot when I’m thinking about why the group was created, why did we start and where do we go from here.”
Roman’s passion for his work is contagious-which is good for his projects and for Holyoke.
“We are going to need everyone city-wide to really come together to make the [Latina/Latino Gay Pride] event really be successful,” he says.
With a charming, eloquent and passionate leader like Roman at the helm there is little question that success-for the man and his mission-lies ahead.
