Dreams come true
Photo: Tammy Twotone
By: Tammy TwoTone*/Special to TRT—
“I live life as Clark Kent, but I’d rather be Rita Hayward.”
Those are the words that caught Leonard Nimoy’s attention. I did not think that I had a shot, and I really didn’t want to send the usual resume. So, I boiled everything down to those words. And, I thought nothing more of it.
You can imagine my surprise when I was chosen by Mr. Nimoy to be one of the subjects of his book ‘Secret Selves.’ I didn’t sleep for a week. All I kept thinking was that I was going to be spending the day with Mr. Spock.
I had spent a good part of my youth idolizing and looking-up to the character that Mr. Nimoy had made so famous: Mr. Spock, the science officer of the Starship Enterprise. That was the only image that I could connect to, the Alien, a stranger in a strange land. I knew we were of the same blood. We shared the same experiences, felt the same isolation. We both hid our emotions and lived our lives reflecting what everyone expected of us.
I showed-up wearing a Las Vegas Showgirl outfit. [pullquote]Before he took a single picture, we talked. He wanted to know about me. He wanted me to explain my words. He was wonderfully patient and gentle, for which I am forever grateful. We covered a lot in the short time we had, but the one thing he kept coming back to, the one question he repeatedly asked me was “How do you do it?”[/pullquote]
Before he took a single picture, we talked. He wanted to know about me. He wanted me to explain my words. He was wonderfully patient and gentle, for which I am forever grateful. We covered a lot in the short time we had, but the one thing he kept coming back to, the one question he repeatedly asked me was “How do you do it?”
I was living a life that I had become used to for so long, that it never occurred to me to ask myself that question. I was doing what I had to to support my family, working a nine-to-five job with special needs children, as a male, while at the same time pursuing a stand-up comedy career as a female. I didn’t have a good answer for him. He knew it, and he challenged me on it. And, I’m glad he did.
Thank you, Mr. Nimoy!
It wasn’t long after that I transitioned. I wasn’t happy with the life that I was living, but it was the only life I knew. It had become routine, and it was safe … it was all I knew.
It’s taken some time, and there have been stumbles along the way, but I’m getting there. So, when I heard the news of your passing, all the thoughts of that experience came flooding back. It was one of the most surreal moments in my life. It was a moment I never expected and it set the course for my future. Never again will comedy, gender, and geekiness combine to create a moment like that. [pullquote]You saved my soul that day, Mr. Nimoy. You made my heart whole. And, you gave me a sense of confidence that I had never known before.[/pullquote]
You saved my soul that day, Mr. Nimoy. You made my heart whole. And, you gave me a sense of confidence that I had never known before.
And, thank You, Mr. Nimoy, because I believe that I am the only trans woman I know of who can say that Mr. Spock helped me to transition.
*Questionable decision making and uncomfortable choices have led this trans women to a career as a stand-up comic, writer, and producer who hosts her own show ‘Tammys TWIST’ on Broadway, in NYC.
[To read a copy of The Rainbow Times’ March, 2015 issue in .pdf click here; via ISSUU, click here.]
