By: Clara Lefton
The Cape Cod Native talks family, lover, the new season and bullying
Ryan Darius Nickulas, a Cape Cod native and star of LOGO’s “The A-List: New York,” met up with _The Rainbow Times_ to discuss show secrets, coming out and children. It was just another Saturday morning in New York City’s West Village for Nickulas, who was seated at the front desk his salon as if just another employee; despite the fact that he has worked with stars like Pamela Anderson, Rachel Ray and Isaac Mizrahi.
Nickulas’ obsession with hair began from a young age in his hometown of West Barnstable, MA. While his older brother Eric was playing ice hockey, and would eventually be drafted by the Boston Bruins, Nickulas was French-braiding his Barbie doll’s hair. “[The Barbie’s would] be in the tub with me, because for a little gay boy it’s lonely; you don’t identify with the other boys: I don’t want to play soccer, Mom. I don’t want to go climb trees, or play manhunt, or whatever the game is,” he recalled.
Nickulas came out of the closet at 16 and became president of Barnstable High School’s Gay Straight Alliance by 1999 when he graduated. “Truly because of living in the state of Massachusetts and on the Cape, and the laws that were in place at the time, I was able to evolve as a young teenage man and not repress myself. I’m just so grateful for that,” said Nickulas.
He went on to earn a degree from Beauty Creators Academy in Everett, MA while simultaneously attending the University of Massachusetts at Boston. It was in his college years that 20-year-old Nickulas first met and began dating Desmond Smith, his future husband. “It wasn’t the right time. I was young and crazy but the connection was electric,” said Nickulas. Despite a break up, the two stayed in touch. They have now been married for three and a half years and live together in New York City; this past August the couple was featured in a New York Times article (http://nyti.ms/hQZQqP) about their fish tank.
Nickulas opened his salon in 2007 and it was while doing a friend’s hair overheard about the casting call for “The A-List: New York.” After consulting with his husband, parents and brother, Nickulas put himself out there.
TRT: Did they have a casting call?
Nickulas: Huge, huge casting [of over 6,000 people]. There are a lot of bitter bi$%^$#s in New York City, who auditioned for the show and won’t admit it. I swear that’s why we got so much hate in New York, because so many people didn’t get cast, felt like they were more…At first it was “The Real Househusbands of New York” and then it was “The Gay Socialites of New York” and then they named it “The A-List: New York,” which we didn’t even know until seven weeks into filming and we were all like, “S&%t.
TRT: Did you feel like you had to live up to the name?
Nickulas: Well you know, I’ve never truly said that in my life, that I’m A-List…I’m myself the entire time and I think people can tell. That’s the most response I get, ‘You’re so real, we love your advice.’ In an unnatural situation, so to speak, with cameras and lighting and a pretty set up- ‘We’re going to film at this restaurant and you guys are going to have lunch. Then have your conversation.’ I tried to just truly just stay myself and even though I knew there was a shit show going around me, I just tried to give an honest perception of me and that was the best way I could do it.
TRT: The first episode sets the premise that the cast is good friends, who did you know before filming?
Nickulas: I knew TJ [Kelly]. Of course I knew of Reichen [Lehmkuhl] and we have a mutual friend. And I know of Mike Ruiz, like who doesn’t? I’m sorry if you’re young, and gay, and like fashion, and famous people, you know Mike Ruiz because he’s just brushed elbows with everybody. And we’ve all watched his career going, “[moans] I wish I could be him.”
So then Derek, and I and TJ were the only original cast to film the pilot. A lot of people don’t know that. So I met Derek a year ago filming the pilot for the original series and then when LOGO decided to go a different route they kept us three, and the other four boys fell to the wayside.
TRT: Did you watch the show religiously every week?
Nickulas: Yeah I did. You know we were sent a copy on Friday before everyone else saw because a lot of us do interviews, so we have to know what’s kept in. Eighty percent of what shot this summer is left on the floor, if you can imagine that. So all the times that we went to lunch or talked about this thing-I went to a few Patricia Fields parties, I did a few salon trainings because I do a lot of platform artist work for companies and I’m an educator for people. We filmed all of that part of my career but didn’t show up.
TRT: Aside from TJ Kelly, your assistant, who do you still talk to on a regular basis?
Nickulas: I talk to Derek and Austin all the time. Reichen and Rodiney [Santiago] are kind of too cool for school right now. But I think as viewers you all knew that. And they’re actually badmouthing the show right now, which is really shitty. Rodiney is acting like a true Brazilian h**$#r. The show made him famous, he was truly a no one and they enticed him to do a calendar. He’s now getting paid substantially off this calendar. So he’s got the show, so he got the job. He did the deed, so he got his money. Now he’s flipping the bird like I don’t need you. So it’s kind of sad and then in the next Facebook post he’ll be like, ‘Come see me in Miami at my next appearance!’ Which he’s getting paid for because of the show. It’s so shitty and I’m really not happy about it.
TRT: Is Austin Armacost still in the U.K.?
Nickulas: He runs back and forth. So he should be here this week and we’re all going to have dinner; like me, Derek, TJ, Desmond, a couple of the producers that we’re still close with because you truly become a family with the crew. I ended up doing haircuts on the sound girl and the camera operator and the product, as well as the cast we got close to the crew.
Nickulas: A few, that was the hardest thing. TJ and I would be like, ‘Oh s&%t!’ all the time. When we would film in clubs there would be lights and cameras on us, and then the bi&%$#s who didn’t make the show wanted their other auditions: so they would walk by and try to throw a drink or try and do something to get on the show. I’d be with my makeup compact in my back pocket like, ‘We have to shoot that again. S&$t.
TRT: What was it like walking around the city with all the cameras?
Nickulas: Unfortunately because of the buzz preshow and everybody going like, ‘A-List?’ and ‘Who are these people?’ and ‘Who do these people think they are?’ Unfortunately like we would get bullied, in a way. We would get like, ‘A-List my a$$! Who the hell are you?’ As would walk- it sucked. It’s fun now that the show is a success. We’ve been on Wendy Williams and Rachel Ray and had national coverage, you know Chelsea Handler- it’s the craziest thing I’ve been on Talk Soup three or four times, are you kidding me? I love Joel McHale. I TiVo his show- it’s such a surreal moment. It was worth every cat call, every ‘a$$&%$e.’
TRT: How did your family react to your participation on the
show?
Nickulas: My mom and dad loved the show. They really enjoyed how well the show was produced and made: it looked like a pretty show. It was visually beautiful and the production was the caliber of any other Viacom show i.e., The Hills or The City, and it was cool. I think for my mom to be able to see her son every week on T.V. was a great experience.
TRT: Is your family still in Massachusetts?
Nickulas: Everybody is on the Cape … I’m more of a P-town boy, Desmond and I have a condo in P-town right across from The Red Inn where we got married and it’s just near and dear to us. Like for Christmas we’re going to go there for three days, then scoot up Cape to see my family after we like hunker down and eat tuna fish sandwiches and rent movies and not do anything…That’s our version of camping.
TRT: Since being on The A-List what new opportunities have you had?
Nickulas: I recently raised money for the CIGSYA. I spoke at my high school [and] talked to them about anti-bullying on all levels, not just the gay anti-bullying: race, weight and just being different. To all the presidents of the clubs and the GSA– it was insane. I spend probably an hour/hour and a half every morning with a cup of coffee answering Facebook and Twitter and emails from kids from Russia to Miami to wherever, Bogota– just reaching out for hope and being like, ‘I watch every episode, thank you so much!’ and they go into a paragraph about the situation that they’re dealing with and you know they took the time to write me and I have to- instead of journaling in the morning now I’m writing back to people who are complete strangers, who I think that I could possibly help them get through that one day because I replied.
TRT: Do you have a message for the Trevor Project? Or a quote for LGBTQ youth out there right now?
Nickulas: I feel like the phrase ‘It Gets Better’ has really been beat, its just been done. I almost feel like people are jumping onto it for other reasons and in response, I’ve been ridiculed for jumping onto the ‘It Gets Better’ campaign. We did a PSA…and there’s a young man on YouTube (
TRT: Have you met any celebrities since the show and felt star struck?
Nickulas: When I was 14 years old I would watch Rosie O’Donnell after school. We all knew she was gay. So she would have her gay hairdresser on and he was nuts: he would jump on couches and be so cool. David Evangelista was like Rose O’Donnell’s buddy, and you knew he was gay and you knew he was gay. Between him and Pedro Zamora, [from MTV’s The Real World: San Francisco] he was part of my, “It Gets Better” when I was struggling. When I got to meet [Evangelista] recently, we judged Mr. Gay USA in Philadelphia…but I got to tell David Evangelista that he was my. ‘It Gets Better’ and that was a really cool moment.
TRT: Any word on kids?
Nickulas: We are in the beginning stages, meaning there’s a lot of laws and they’re all different in every state. I really truly am excited for season two so I can show gay men and women that, that don’t know. I never thought in a hundred thousand years that I would be married. I thought my position in life was to make the bride look pretty. So for me to now get married- and I also thought I would never have kids, like truly. I thought I’d live vicariously through my brother, and be a really cool gay uncle. So for me to be in the seat that I’m in today is- truly I’m living my dream and I feel so fortunate, that I want to share that with the younger generation.
It’s so important to show that you can be whatever you want, you can have whatever you want today, that’s why we live in the United States of America. We don’t have enough people, I mean we do [have] Melissa Etheridge and Rose, but they never got to the specifics of it. They just show that they have families, which is great in and of itself, but if I do get the chance to do season two and I do get to showcase myself having children I’ll do it in front of the world, and I’ll do it honestly because I can… I want to show the hurdles and I want to show the hardships and I want to show the experience so people know how to go about it, they can go about it the same way I did.
Nickulas: I’m exploring all options, to be very honest with you; I’m not narrow minded at all about it. I just know that at the end I’m going to do what’s legally strongest for myself and Desmond. At the end of the day I don’t want anyone to be able to take my child from me.
Nickulas: Desmond and I- it’s turned into a tradition- we’re going to run off to [Los Angeles, CA]…but like we just stay in a hotel and don’t leave. We just read and connect and rekindle and just order room service and watch T.V. and nobody knows where we are and it’s just really cool.
Nickulas: Oh, I’m totally willing to participate in season two. We don’t have word yet for season two. I’m guessing that once it’s the New Year will probably start all of that all over again.
